Church.

I decided it was time to buckle down and get my act together.  I decided it was time to start going to church again and to take Peyton with me.

I went a few Sunday's ago for the first time in a while.  A long while.  Probably a few years.  It felt good.  I registered at our new church down the street and am taking the steps to get Peyton baptized (something we've been wanting to do since he was born, but had a conflict with Godparents and am finally getting my act together and making this happen).

So yesterday was the first time I took Peyton to church.  Let me try to make this long story short...

We had Brice's 2nd birthday party yesterday.  Peyton had a lot of sugar (something he normally doesn't get so it affects him fast) and as if leaving at 2pm wasn't late enough, he didn't fall asleep in the car like normal for being 2pm (sugar!) and about 5 min from home, he finally fell asleep.  He woke up when I got him out and was wired.  So, that was his nap.  He wouldn't go back down.  Normally, he'd fall right back asleep no prob. (sugar!)

He was a-okay the rest of the day, only because he was at home doing whatever he wanted to do.  Fast forward to 4:45pm and I decide that I'm going to the 5pm mass.  In my head, I decided to go alone and there's no way I'm taking Peyton after no nap (even though he was being decent).

I rush to gather money for the collection envelope, only to realize we have no cash.  So I decided I'd put my envelope in with no money, so they at least know I went (they say to do that, it's how they "track" you're there... yeah, the politics bother me but whatever).  So I already feel cheap and wrong.  But I justified it with, "well this is practically my first time back in awhile, so it's all a learning experience.  From now on I'll be better prepared.  Lesson learned."

On my way out the door at 4:50 (the church is 2 min away and, you know me!  Always late!)  Steve says, "I thought you were taking Peyton?  Isn't that the whole point?"  Guilt enters.  I say, "Peyton, wanna go to church with me?"  He says so sweetly, "Yeah!"

I rush to gather toys, food, water, blankie, etc so he can make it through.  He's dressed decently, but not how I'd like to have him dressed for church, but no time to change.  We get in the disgustingly hot car, he gets burned on the belt buckle, or at least acts like he did, and we're off.

We pull up just after 5pm and rush to the church.  I open the door with a huge brass door handle and WHAM!  I knock Peyton's head with it and the crying begins.  Instant goose egg.  We calm down and I have a little convo with myself saying to chill the eff out.  I'm rushing and this is what happens.  We enter the church.

So we're those people who are underprepared and come in late.  I'm the mom with the kid who's loud and people probably wonder why we're even there.

We made it through 40 min, which was great.  But not easy.  Let me tell you:  He's moving around, up & down the pew.  It's quiet and he stands up and farts... loud.  Like I swear it echoed.  I hope nobody thought it was me.  His Thomas train somehow falls apart (has never happened before) and he says, "Oh no!  Oh no!" over and over.  He drops his train and the (probably already annoyed) person behind us picks it up.  I drop the bulletin and the person behind us picks it up.  He coughs and coughs in his sick cough, which I swear he hasn't done in days.  Then finally, he decides to play "choo choo" in the aisle on the tiles that I'm sure he associates with a train track.  He's SOOOO exhausted that there was NO reasoning with him.  I pull him in from the aisle and he says NO!  Goes back out.  Pull him in again, NOOOO!  I grab my purse and pick him up and we leave, all while he's screaming.

I put him down in the back part of the church (behind the closed doors) and he's still screaming and now sliding across the floor on his tummy.  He's so limp and angry that I can't even pick him up.  A lady back there glares.  I throw my (already feeling guilty about) envelope in an empty basket sitting there for who-knows-what.  Greattt, now they'll probably think I just swung by church real quick to drop it off, moneyless, in the wrong spot.  I would've asked the glaring lady to put it in the collection basket for me, but no way was I talking to her.  I probably should've just kept it.  I take a deep breath and pick him up sideways and rush out of the church.  It's a million degrees out and as if I wasn't already burning up.

This is sooooooo not Peyton.  But this is sooooooo Peyton when he hasn't gotten his nap.  I'm sooooooo stupid for doing this to us.

I cry the whole way to the car, open the doors and there was NO WAY IN H3LL I'm getting him in the car.  He won't stop flailing enough for me to even hold him normally.  I take a deep breath, rub my eyes and my contact falls out.  Onto the asphalt.  I try to put it back in and it burns like h3ll so I'm now one-eyed.  (I have HORRIBLE eyesight).  He calms down enough to where I'm able to get him in his car seat, but not without a fight.  This time I'm sure he was burnt by the seat belt buckle and bloody murder screamed the whole way home.  I felt so horrible for him, I'm nearly in tears writing this thinking about that cry.  But I had to just. get. home.

I'm home and Steve's not.  I have no house key.  Did I say it's freakin hot?  And I have one eye in?

He's calmed down now that he's out of his seat and I just hug him saying how sorry I am.  He goes to the door and it's opened.  Steve didn't lock it.  Greattt.  But, I'm not picking that fight.  HA

The rest is history.

Soooo, I'm sure God wanted me to know that I shouldn't be rushed for church and to go only when I really am up for it.  Next weekend we're going to church only under all the PERFECT circumstances (napped, fed, changed, etc) and Steve's going with me.  Oh and, I realized there's a cry room where all the kids sit with their parents, duh!  So we'll sit in there.

However, I'm thinking he's too young to go.  I do want to get something out of church and with him with me, it's hard.  I know he doesn't understand, but I also want him to learn we go to church and this is how we act.  What age do you think is good to start taking your kid to church?

We also agreed that if he's had a long day or wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, it's not a good idea for him to go.  Up until a certain age when he's old enough to know you go to church even if you're tried...but again, what age is that?

It'll be awhile before I can laugh about what happened yesterday, but know some day I will...

Ahhh, just another joy of parenting.  :)